Born Calvin Lebrun, Cee aired out his business for GQ’s February 2014 “Love, Sex & Madness” issue. Titled ‘The Secret Double Life of Mister Cee, Hip-Hop’s Most Beloved DJ,’ it’s a doozy.
Mister Cee on how paying for sex started: He was in strip clubs a lot, he says, at the end of that relationship. “And I started tricking in the strip clubs. I don’t know if you know what tricking is—you’re taking [the girls] out the club”—literally right outside the club—“and you’re having sex with them.” He’d do it in places where he wasn’t liable to be recognized, usually spots around downtown Manhattan “where white guys was going,” he says. Then he discusses getting fellatio from trans men, without ever actually saying so.
…on how the “other thing” started:
It’s hard to say how the “other thing,” as Cee sometimes calls it, got started. But he knows when: “Around 2005, 2006.” Though it is perhaps hard to believe him, he says it never occurred to him until he started doing it. It wasn’t a long-held fantasy or a desire he’d held at bay for a while and then succumbed to. But soon he found himself on Christopher Street, a couple of blocks from the Hot 97 offices, nearly every weekend, “out there—like, really out there.” He never really asked himself why he was doing it and still can’t entirely explain why he was drawn to this specific, highly particular thing. This conversation we’re having right now, over shrimp and fried rice, is only the second or third time he’s ever actually tried to put it into words. Certainly it’s the first time he’s told the story to a reporter. “The best way I can explain it is that I was so knee-deep into doing it that it became a part of me,” he says. “It’s also the rush of: Get horny, A and B—you know, one plus one equals two. You get horny, go out, go get your shit o≠. It became a part of my routine. Even though I was fearful, there was a part of me that felt invincible, too.”
…on living a lie:
“It wasn’t even about losing the job. I was just afraid of what the perception was going to be about me and that people was still going to want to stand behind the Mister Cee brand,” he says. Promoters. People he worked with. And if they didn’t, “how was I going to be able to continue to support and take care of the people that I care about?” Also, Cee still says he isn’t gay.
…on trying to move forward:
“At this point in my life, I can’t even begin to try to be in a serious relationship with a woman,” Cee says. “That’s the point that I’m at now: What do I want? Where am I at? Now that it’s out in the open—everybody knows, I know—where am I going from here?” He knows the illegal activity needs to stop—“If I get arrested right now for that same type of activity, I’m doing sixty days in jail, hands down, done”—and that he could lose his job if he gets caught again. So he’s trying to figure it out, though to hear him talk, he hasn’t figured it out at all, really. When I ask point-blank if he’s gay, he says, “Absolutely not. And it’s nothing—it’s no offense to transgender women, but I only get with transgender women for one thing and one thing only, and that’s for oral sex. Like I said: I never had sex with a man. I never had sex with a transgender woman.” But the kicker is when asked about the Notorious B.I.G., who Cee is credited with discovering.
…on whether or not Notorious B.I.G. would’ve understood:
In our booth at the restaurant, I ask if Biggie would’ve understood, had this happened twenty years ago. “Oh, I know that,” Cee says instantly. “I know Big stands next to me. I have no question in my mind.” I ask him why he’s so sure, and he says it’s because they were friends, first, but also because hip-hop is such a transparent thing to those who’ve lived it: “You know who’s phony, you know who’s hypocritical, you know who’s real.”
Read the full DJ Mister Cee story, which includes why he has forgiven J. Cole, right here. GQ’s “Love, Sex & Madness” issue is newsstands January 28.
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